The Case of the Rusted Russet: Episode 1
Submitted by TookyKuba | Monday, September 1st, 2025
The tate was sitting lumpily in a booth to the right of the bar. its eyes were all over me. there was something strange about it, though...then it hit me like a ton of tubers. That was a tumbler of vodka on the table.
My skin instinctively bruised as i gazed on, in horror. What self-respecting tato would milk the living juices of its peers, and ferment them for its own sick, twisted pleasure? Surely there were other, more ethical highs to chase in this dark and stormy town, on this dark and stormy night.
I knocked back my own shot of olive oil, anointing myself with a thin layer, as was the local custom...then rolled a bit in the pink himalayan sea salt that encrusted most surfaces within the seedy dives that peppered the wharf.
Freshening up gave me courage, and i rolled to my feet, exhaled some CO2, and began my approach....
The Case of the Rusted Russet: Episode 2
Submitted by TookyKuba | Tuesday, September 2nd, 2025
I couldn't quite place the breed, though it was clear from the potato's bearing that it was an heirloom. But then, what was such a blue-blooded specimen doing in a dive like this? I rolled closer, trying my best to look nonchalant.
"Russo-Baltique?" I asked.
"The barkeep look like an aesthete to you?" The tato shot back across its glass.
"To be honest, I usually swill from a plastic fifth," I lied. I'd never betray my own species, but building rapport would be crucial here.
The tato laughed, a shimmering, tinkling cascade, redolent of crystalized starch. I felt something stir inside me. Before I knew it, I was cradled in the sparkling, red vinyl of the booth, across the table from my mark.
Submitted by TookyKuba | Tuesday, September 2nd, 2025
heirloom - "traditional varieties that have been passed down through generations, often known for their unique flavors and characteristics, typically grown using organic methods. can include types like German Butterball, All Blue, and Russet Burbank"
blue-blooded - "a member of the nobility or aristocracy, or a person of high social status"
nonchalant - "casual, unconcerned, indifferent"
russo-baltique - a car manufacturer that made the world's most expensive vodka, costing $1.3 million per bottle
aesthete - "person with a special appreciation of art and beauty"
swill - "drink greedily"
plastic fifth - 750mL of booze, plastic containers are used for lower quality product
rapport - a sympathetic, mutual understanding, an easy and trusting connection
redolent - "strongly reminiscent or suggestive of"
mark - slang for someone about to be hustled or duped
The Case of the Rusted Russet: Episode 3
Submitted by TookyKuba | XXXday, XXXXX ?xx, 202?
Coming Soon.....Someday...Soon...
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